她才15歲,政府文憑考試拿全科A;全班考試成績第二名,結果她選擇在房間內上吊自殺,只因為她父親說了這句話。。。

全球華人大聯盟     2017-05-10     檢舉

這年頭,考試成績真的代表一切嗎?孩子求學的終極目的就是考第一嗎?政府各種文憑考試必須全科考A不可嗎?

這名馬來女中學生來自北馬,從小就接受父親嚴格家訓,她的父母都是高級公務員,她被要求必須年年全班考第一,各種考試成績必須得100%。父親對她從小就不苟言笑;她曾經嘗試親手為父親製作生日蛋糕,親自下廚為父親準備早餐,但是得到的回報卻是冷酷無情的回應:《為什麼浪費時間做這些無謂的東西?你應該把所有時間都用在讀書》;《你幹嘛下廚做這下餐點?難道你長大了想當印尼女傭》?

父親額回應都讓她心碎。

那年的年終考試,她第一次輸給了班上一個男孩子,第一次只能考獲第二名。她當天晚上不敢把成績單交給父親過目,只是試探著問了父親:《如果神的旨意證明我不是最聰明的那個,不讓我考到全班第一名,你會怎樣呢?》

結果父親的回答令她心碎:《那麼你就不再是我的女兒!》

因為父親這句話傷透了心,當天晚上她將房門深鎖,在橫樑上用一條毛巾上吊自殺,結束了短暫的15年生命。

父親在女兒死後發現了原因,他痛不欲生,從家裡消失了整整兩個月;他躲進了清真寺不斷反思、後悔、每天晚上發噩夢,夢見女兒吊頸的場面,聽到女兒不斷向他求救;每一次從夢中驚醒,都忍不住痛苦失聲。。。

兩個月後,他回家與家人團聚,他不再是一個嚴厲的父親,他開始改變心態,跟其他孩子漸漸能夠溝通,找回了消失已久的天倫之樂。

而這一切,是他的女兒用生命喚醒他的。

不久前,我們看到巴生某華小校長在週會上要求小六學生集體在家長面前發誓,UPSR一定要考到6個A。我在想,如果發誓後卻考不到6個A,怎麼辦?這些小學生是不是承受不住打擊而可能自殺呢?或者沒臉見父母師長而離家出走,從此自暴自棄了呢?

難道現代人的教育,就僅僅是重視孩子的考試成績,道德修養、忠孝仁愛、品德教育這些統統都不重要了嗎?

15 Year Old Malaysian Girl Commits Suicide For Being Second In Class

It’s known in the Asian countries that parents place a very high importance on grades. 「Without A’s, you will never succeed in life」, was what we were told since young.

However, the stress has taken toll on several students who took their own life due to unsatisfactory results.

It’s a shame and must this culture really go on? In a recent Facebook post published by Khairul, he tells us a story about a young girl who committed suicide for placing second in class.

The story affected the young and older generation alike, and garnered over 39k shares that we are sure to impact many more. His post which was originally written in Malay was translated to English.

It writes: 「It’s been a few months since I』ve been avoiding to see this certain lady. However, I wasn』t comfortable being rang up time and time again, insisting that she meets me. She said even if it’s just 10-20 minutes it’s alright.

Not sure what happened to me, but at last, I agreed. We were talking in the restaurant near my studio.

Sitting infront of me, she only held her head low and I could see how hard it is for her to say whatever she wanted to. The first word danced around her mouth. The silence made it a little awkward.

「Akak really want you to tell everyone. What happened to me needs to become a lesson to all.」

Gulp. I swallowed my own saliva with haste. I, myself don』t even know how to start this conversation, so I just let her start her story.

Apparently, this lady used to be a high-achiever and was respected in her neighbourhood during her time. Her children were successful and both husband and wife were happy being admired in the eyes of their neighbours.

Her life changed 360 degrees a few years ago when one of her daughters was found in her own room, with her body hanging by a rope around her neck with a noose. Her beloved daughter had ended her life at the young age of 15 years old that day.

Her husband was a strong advocate on education, where examination results of his children is always placed priority in life. Whenever the children weren』t up-to-speed in their studies, they would be sent off to tuition or special classes to study more.

Their children were reading skillfully at a mere age of 4 years old. The gap between play time and studies were too great. There were never any fooling around, which caused their kids to not know how to socialize with their peers. The only thing they knew were books and writing.

Up until that year, the daughter who always got first in class, got number two instead – even though she got straight A’s for her trial examinations.

She didn』t give it too much thought. Once she got home, she finished her prayers and hung herself.

During the moments she hung herself, the house was in chaos. Everyone heard sounds coming from her room, but the door was locked shut. Until it was finally broken open, it was already too late. The whole room was filled with sadness as she just breathed out her last breath.

Unsatisfied. I immediately asked, 「Why hang herself? She prayed. She just finished her prayers! So why hang herself??」

The mom instantly broke into an uncontrollable sob. Everyone else in the restaurant was looking at her as she wiped her tears and choked on the words she was about to say.

She says that, on the night before her daughter went to school, she asked her dad, if one day, it was God’s fate that she wasn』t as clever and couldn』t score first place, what would he do? The dad replies, 「You won』t be my daughter anymore.」

I sat there in silence. Even though she has not told me the whole story, I was already holding back eyes full of tears, waiting for them to cascade off my cheeks.

At a very young age, her dad did not once bermanja-manja with the children. He wasn』t good, didn』t want to learn nor forced himself to interact with the kids.

What’s most important for him is that his children succeeded and knows how to live a good life. Whenever they balik kampung for a wedding, the children liked to mingle with their uncles better. They told more stories and had more conversations because they understood better.

The child who gave up her own life was persistent, she tried her entire 15 years of life to bermanja with her father without stopping.

There was once she baked a cake for his birthday, and the dad commented, 「I never asked for a cake, it’s better to just buy one instead. Don』t waste your energy and go study!」

She even prepared breakfast with her dad’s favourite dishes, but instead he said 「Why? You want to be like an Indonesian maid?」

There were a few more other examples that she told me. I excused myself to use to bathroom for awhile. I couldn』t hold back my tears when she showed me a picture of her deceased daughter. Oh my God, I just cried and wash up while I was there.

The moment when she’s dealing with her daughter’s funeral, conflict stirred between the neighbours. Some said that she was no longer muslim, 「no longer one of us for taking her own life」.

Hence her grave had to be placed outside of the Muslim burial grounds. Others supported the idea and even gave their own two cents. The dad in despair knelt down and begged to keep this story between them as to not damage the family name.

Right after the funeral, the father disappeared and only came home after almost 2 months.

His return was welcomed with open arms as they have missed him dearly. The other children also gathered to realise he was no longer the 『cold』 father he used to be.

Apparently when he went missing, he stayed in masjids and wandered around.

He said, there were tens of times he dreamt of his daughter begging for him to save her from the rope that which was tightened around her neck which turns out to be a snake.

It will then hang her from a very tall tree which he could never successfully reach her. This dream occured over and over again until he was even scared to sleep.

Now, he accepted that he could not save his daughter. But he could help himself. He now knows how to hug his other children and joke with his grandchildren. He even often take time off to mingle with his own children.

The lady tells me that in life, we should not ask for too much. We can be strict, but even that has its limits.

In whatever we do, even in principle, should not be excessive. I nodded.

Before we said our goodbyes, she said that she came far just to meet with me and wanted to make sure I wrote her story on my Facebook. So that her story becomes a lesson to everyone.

Whoever and whatever we love, take good care of it. Because when it comes down to it, we are never sure if we could get past it or not.

To my good people, I』m honestly not comfortable with these kind of meets. I was scared and worried it won』t look too good on myself. Listening to the lady’s story gave me restless nights. Really.

The face of her daughter is etched in me forever. Nicely covered in a tudung, and her innocent face – Oh God, yet she decided to end her life in such a way.

This world creates a beginning for us, it’s up to ourselves to determine its ending.

Everything is possible with the life that we have. Honestly, if the daughter received more affection from the family, no one had to go through a hardship so intense to end her own life. It’s up to us, who’s alive, to listen to people’s stories as a lesson to learn.

I hope everything is well for you all. As for the lady, her husband and their children, they would have to live with the tragic story for years. You can not just avoid it, nor can you forget it.

However, they approached life better and we hope that God will bless them too. Sometimes God gives us incidents as scary as this as a reminder. Please, stay away.